This girl won’t leave my man alone

Dear Pastor,

I am 32 and I have been seeing a 38-year-old man for the past two years and three months.

He had a girlfriend and I had a man. After we were dating for seven months, I always visited him at his work place. One day I was there and a man came in to do business and we started to chat. The conversation drew me to him as if he was someone I knew long ago. He asked my boyfriend if I could go with him to the second floor and he told him yes, but deep down, he was upset. When I returned, my boyfriend avoided me. When I left and later called him, he told me that I should go with the man and I should not call him back. I was hurt, so I did not call him back.

One evening I was at the supermarket and I saw my boyfriend, but I did not acknowledge him. On my way out, we bumped into each other and I asked him how he was doing; he said he was doing okay. I kept calling him until we started a relationship again. So I dropped the man I met at his business place. I had sex with that man but when my boyfriend asked if I did, I lied and told him no. He said his girlfriend was overseas, so he could move on with his life because she is not coming back.

I DISRESPECTED HIM

Three months after we got back together, he told me that his girlfriend is coming back to Jamaica and she wanted him to meet her at the airport. He said he did not know what to do about me. He slept with me the night before he went to meet her, but he left early. He stopped visiting me, but he was still asking me whether I had sex with the man I met at his business place. I finally admitted that I did and he was upset, so he stopped taking my calls. I told my sister about the situation and she told me to give him some time. He told my sister I disrespected him by having sex with the man. He had sex with three different women during that period.

Six months after we got back together, I found out that I was pregnant and he told me to abort it because he did not want another child. He said that if I did not abort the pregnancy, he would have nothing to do with the child, and he would post my nude pictures on the Internet. So I took the pills that he gave me to abort the child. He said he did not want any child to hold him back.

The woman he was living with moved out of his house. I love this man very much. On his birthday, she posted birthday greetings. So I created a TikTok page and sent a message to her, telling her to leave my man alone and I blocked my boyfriend from seeing it. This man should not have two of us in his life. I apologised to him, but he said it is the other girl to whom I should apologise. I have two children and they love him. What do you suggest that I should do?

D.B.

Dear D.B.,

This girl and you have too much time on your hands and that is why you all are fighting over a man.

What is so special about this man that would cause you to make a fake TikTok page? This man got you pregnant and insisted that you abort the pregnancy which you did. But you are back with him. You should know by now that this man does not wish you any good, but he will continue to use you because he loves sex and he knows that you do too. The relationship is purely sexual. You love him more than you love yourself. He will never trust you because you are easy to get. You may do what you want, but I am warning you, this relationship is not going anywhere. Please remember that you have children. Show some respect to them.

Pastor