Don’t know if this man can handle me
Dear Pastor,
I am having an issue and I am asking you for your opinion. I am having a relationship with a man who is 10 years older than me.
I am 30 and he is 40. I have two children and he has three. Our relationship is only six months old. He always wants to know if I am loyal to him. He loves sports, so I do not see him during the week. He is always attending football matches, and whenever he is with me, which is on a Sunday evening, he would eat and fall asleep watching the television. A friend of mine told me that this man has popped down. He is not strong enough for me.
I did not like what she said, but I am beginning to see that what she said make sense. How can I be having a relationship with a man who does not have time for me? One of the things I admire about him is that he is always asking about the welfare of the children and he offers help if I have any big bill to pay. He is not crazy about sex. As a matter a fact, the times we have had sex, I have had to ask him for it. He only sleeps at my place twice a week - that is on a Saturday night and Sunday night. He has his own apartment, which he shares with his sister. He said he owns the place, but his sister takes care of everything for him. He was never married; his children's mother left him for another man. He does not like to be questioned much, so I am wondering if this man is a good match for me. Please give me your advice.
D.W.
Dear D.W.,
The relationship that you are having with this man is only six months old. It is not long enough to decide whether you should continue with him or break it up.
This man might be watching you and trying to decide whether you are the right person for him. You should also bear in mind that he is 10 years older than you. He is not pushing you for anything. He has his own apartment, so his desire is not to shack up with you because he doesn't have anywhere to live. He is not trying to get money out of you; that is what many men are doing to women.
You want him to spend more time with you and that is a matter you should talk to him about. I have said on so many occasions that a man can't be too busy that he cannot find time to spend with his woman. The man is not the aggressive type. Give him another six months and see whether he would change his behaviour. Perhaps your girlfriend who told you that he has popped down may be eyeing him, so don't be in a hurry to throw this man away, so to speak.
Pastor